Wednesday, September 26, 2007
HOW ABOUT BLINDFOLDS?
I came across this gem on the Associated Press wire Tuesday night. RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) -- Prompted by parents' complaints about sex and violence in inflight movies, two congressmen introduced legislation Tuesday calling for airlines to create kid-friendly zones on planes.
"The airlines have chosen to put our children in a situation that I don't feel comfortable with," said Rep. Heath Shuler, a North Carolina Democrat.
He and Republican Rep. Walter Jones, also from North Carolina, call their proposal the Family Friendly Flights Act.
The bill calls for the creation of sections on commercial flights where there would not be any publicly viewable movie screens. It would still allow airlines to show the movies they choose on big screens in other sections, or on individual seatback screens.
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First of all, full disclosure. My wife is a longtime flight attendant for a major airline.
OK, now that that's out of the way, let me say, WOW, WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!!
Major airlines fly into and out of bankruptcy on a regular basis, and can't get their planes to take off and land on time. Let's make sure they keep the kiddies happy.
This is an industry whose rank-and-file has conceded chunks of their wages and benefits. Let's make sure they add "babysitter" to their job description. Maybe put them in clown costumes.
Let's take an industry that's been a total mess for years, and put more handcuffs on it.
Sure, let's have a "kid-friendly" section on planes.
And let's have a "readers only" section (quiet, please)...
And bring back the smoking section...
And how about a "drinkers only" section, with a bar, of course...
And throw in a "snoozers only" section, too. (Pillows and blankets in that section only.)
Let me propose an amendment to the Shuler-Jones proposal. Lose the movies altogether. They're edited, the monitors and sightlines usually aren't great, and the sound can be i
ffy.
ffy. Go ahead, make the kids happy. Show nothing but cartoons.
BUT...any child who does nothing but scream the whole flight? Muzzle.
Any child who kicks the back of the seat in front of him or her? Leg restraints.
The art of political compromise. Old-fashioned horse trading.
The floor is now open to debate.
Posted at 12:19 AM by Gerry
2 Comments:
Thank you, thank you for again making my life complete. I can go on with my day, now that your oracle like guidance is once again available to us in the huddled masses.
And the name of your therapist is...?
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